the good guy

the guy who goes home with the same girl every time.
and enjoys it.
the guy who lets you in front in traffic.
and waves.
the guy who takes fewer napkins at the Chinese takeout place.
and leaves the chopsticks.
the guy who wants it to rain.
and owns no umbrella.
the guy who plays your guitar at the party.
and not for ego.

that guy.

what i always hoped for

I wish for significance.
I fail.
but, if I can be of assistance..

inertia

so clear
the pathway is just one of those tunnels
in mountain laurel that is undoubtedly the trail you would take to the bottom
of the mountain to see the rapid river you can already hear.
Except, having gone down that trail,
I can remember too many instances in which I have become entangled in overgrowth,
roots or fear and have never made the entire trek.
This is so clear and so ominous.
Yet, somehow, this is one of the moments,
like when I was with Phil in the Meadows of Dan,
in which I know that I would make it to the bottom if I actually wanted it enough.
And this time I actually want it enough.
I will climb past the roots and the fallen logs, and well beyond my fears.

paradise

Incrementally
systematically
debilitatingly

I loose faith

in humans

in significance

in self.

at least the dam of universiality has not burst.
I would not survive that surge.

the last one was better in my mind

they're not virgins anymore.
there's a change in her eyes.
his eyes change less.
but, her eyes go from ponds to lakes.
and the switch is custom.
sometimes the threshold is low. (most honorable, little lady)
other times, it takes a lot of flooding for the hurricane flag to be flown.

but no escapees have run past here without damage to report.
that is the beast.
the gun is so automatic, it hasn't been manned in a millenium.
she will never __________ again like she used to.
a true blank.
a somberly recognized transition.
that is the anti-personel mine station you can read in her face.
there has been a binding ceremony, but half the participants were laughing.
reality is sling-shotting this direction, watch out!

visage

when the ice shell
encrusts the atmosphere of the womb,
and the subordinate orb
sepia,and brushed, appears,
though but a reflection of other glory,
to the terrestrial creatures,
reaching upward,
gnarled, naked, blind, and frozen,
and the marvel is revealed
to other creatures
whose reaching is less an apparent manifestation,
and upon whom the shadows of impression are cast,
There,
There is luxury.

And when spectrum,
array,
and infinite variety
blend amongst turbulent vapor
and chemical luminescence,
while only eyes reach toward them
these are still
gnarled, naked, and frozen
while transfixed
and this simply the interaction betwixt the classes
of creatures dumb, and creatures wise,
between whom the shadows of impression are unidirectional.
There,
There is superiority of luxury.

Fredrick George Messer

Do you see?
I've been carrying you around with me.
One of the good ones.
It's just like the song says.

I'd been hoping to bump into you around town.
But I don't get up that way much anymore.
Infact, I think I had a dream about it.
I wonder if it was the 21st...woulda been close to then.

Anyway, I guess that's why your toes were numb, huh?
Did you know it then?
That was the summer before this past one, wasn't it?

What's it like to feel it coming?
What's it like in that moment?
I think you would tell me.
I wish I could have asked.

Well I still have that screwdriver that you said wasn't yours.

http://www.legacy.com/newsobserver/Obituaries.asp?Page=Lifestory&PersonId=122294386

I quit.

I do not wish to ever again be responsible for the execution of anyone else's senseless, heartless, or reckless ideas.